T·P
“Control” by Janet Jackson is one of the greatest songs in the
nation Warm hearts sparkle in the colonial afternoon Dating is
all the way dumb Control is a reaction to hurt When something
comes smacking, cracks the future with no precedent, we call
this a paradigm shift—say we were totally blindsided Janet wants
to take control from her parents From the loss of a first love
Control of the narrative Janet wants to Black Cat in boxy military
garb Janet wants to show you her midriff and introduce J. Lo to
the general public in a few albums Shock is a kind of collision A
booming confusion The shudder n the shot are almost indisting-
uishable Shock has its electric correlate, but is also itself thru its
bookends: A quiet dinner party vs. texting all your friends My
friend discovered out his crush graduated college in 2014, now
hates himself And I’m like wait til yr my age thinkin I totally still
look like I’m in my 20s Then the dude yr makin out with was born
the year janet, the album, came out When an hour ago u were
singing “That’s the Way Love Goes” at karaoke In my defense,
taller people always look older (maybe it’s just me) How to
negotiate control and the lack of control When yr slap hand gets
itchy OK whenever anybody dumps you just think of them as if a
gif of a white dude wilding out to Wu Tang in a cardigan then
suddenly falling into the Grand Canyon I don’t know what, if any
of this, will reach yr peepers but I want to ask you this (and I am
guilty of making ppl wade thru some bullshit b4 getting to my
point): what do you turn to in moments of extreme exasperation?
and what do you do? Cindy Crawford says lighting is everything
Take a selfie from the sun blown window But there’s also value in
exposing yr engine Archaic but also so fresh: self-expression Even
supermodels say lighting is everything It’s comforting Trust is a
thing that guides you thru a feed The voice like a handshake I’m
in front of you There is paper and a trade off This is ancient, like
pixel drift What is the engine of frustration We call complication
a knot A knotted life that doesn’t get to be undone Who here has
a clear, linear rope? Denial! You have to love yr knots You have to
shout them out Curate if need be Janet turns her knots into
songs Sonic beauty (tho fuck beauty) Knot is the response For
example, let’s say yr a realty mgmt co Yr not the broken boiler
or the plumber, you orchestrate It’s hard not to inhale Art is
where to turn when u’ve no other recourse This isn’t a discussion
This isn’t a mandate (lol man date) This isn’t an answer This is
a lineage: Lascaux Keith Haring Rihanna How do you draw
breath—In and down Heel to crown Janet says I’m in control
and ends Don’t make me lose it As if she knows what’s to come.
The battle of control is in learning to make, and giving it up
This text is an excerpt from the zine Junk.
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